BILLIE Eilish revealed that she “almost killed herself” during a 2018 tour stop in Berlin, Germany due to the amount of bullying she received on Twitter.
The 18-year-old Bad Guy singer said she was crying alone in a hotel room two years ago, thinking about ways she was going to “die” while scrolling on social media.
During an interview with British GQ, Billie opened up about her suicidal thoughts when asked about the online bullying she’s faced.
“Oh, God. It’s unbelievable,” the five-time Grammy winner responded when the hate she’s received on social media was brought up.
“I almost killed myself because of Twitter a couple of years ago.
“Like, for real,” she added in her candid reveal.
When asked what her reasons were for taking her own life, Billie told the publication she was reading and scrolling through endless negativity on Twitter.
“I was thinking about the way I was going to die,” she said.
The Ocean Eyes songstress added that she was “snapped back to reality” when she thought about her mom, Maggie, and brother Finneas O’Connell.
She said they were both with her right before she was left by herself, but went out to grab food.
“I clearly wanted to be alone, as I had things on my mind that I was, sort of, planning.
“And I think they could tell, so instead of not going, they went, but as they went they texted my tour manager, who was in the same hotel,” the LA native told the magazine.
She added the tour manager, Brian, who she had worked with since she was 14, came to her room and helped her laugh.
When she was asked if there is anything she wanted to tell her younger self that was struggling with these thoughts, Billie said:
“Yeah: ‘Relax, girl. You good. And don’t kill yourself.’”
During the same interview, the Lovely songwriter also discussed her body image, and why she regularly dresses in her signature, oversized clothing.
“I have never felt desired. My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them.
“And it’s a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody.
“So I dress the way I dress as I don’t like to think of you guys – I mean anyone, everyone – judging it, or the size of it,” the teenager confessed.
Billie first gained attention in 2015 when she and her brother uploaded Ocean Eyes to SoundCloud.
She soon gathered a cult following but skyrocketed to international fame after the release of her 2019 smash hit Bad Guy.
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According to RIAA, the single has sold over 38 million units in the United States alone and launched into a global tour.
Her massive success was followed with last year’s highest selling album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, which landed her a spot on Forbes’ 2020 Highest Paid Celebrities list.
The publication compiled a list of the top-earning stars from across all industries, and Billie scored the number 43 spot earning $53 million in 2019.
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or text Crisis Text Line at 741741.
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